How come you guys don't have more shit?
We are a small business, as such prioritize manual “data entry” near the bottom of things to do :-p Slowly, but surely things are added daily!!
Feel free to email email@example.com , if you are looking for something in particular- odds are we got it!
Where is my order?
We/I try to get orders out the same day if possible. Forgive me if I’m unable to as I’m just a one man team!
3-5 business days processing time can be expected. At which point tracking information will be sent to your email on file!
I ordered an item that says "backordered," why isn't it here yet?
Well because, it’s on backorder aka not yet in stock/available to ship 😀 !
It’ll ship as soon as it’s available, if you prefer to cancel just send us an email and we will take care of you!
I ordered 7 years ago and I'm just now bothering to mention, I haven't received my order can you look into it?
IF no tracking was ever created/sent(check spam folder and make sure you provide a valid email), whoops ! I’ll get on it!
IF it shows “Delivered,” no.
Contact your USPS and/or make sure you add insurance, otherwise your ability to place orders will be frozen, until you resolve your inability to receive orders.
Why do you have a phone if no one answers?
Social media and 9-1-1 ?
Email firstname.lastname@example.org for the quickest response!
Do you guys price match?
Abso-fckin-lutely! If you are a smart shopper and find a better deal within 30 days, email us email@example.com and we will verify their price shipped and match, if not beat it.
*BlackFriday Sale excluded generally*
Do you price match yourself?
If it hasn’t shipped- yes.
Otherwise the difference in savings will be minimal (a few dollars) nothing to beat yourself up over!
How do I file a complaint to your Customer Service Department?
Please contact us immediately We Care Department !
We/I do not have one. It’s still just me : D
My billing address is different than where I want my stuff shipped, but I cant change it - can I change it post-ordering?
No, you can not. It’s purposely disabled to avoid fraud.
#BlameNigerianScammers but if you are a known customer, possibly we can discuss such things!
Thanks for understanding!
I just moved and havent updated my billing address on my credit card can you ship to a different address?
Flip your card over, dial the toll free #…takes about 1-2 minute conversation to update that info immediately.
Why are you called "Safe Space" I dont feel Safe?!
**sigh** There is no Safe Space. It’s satire, please dont cry/whine to me lol.